Directed By: Alex Graves / Written By: George R. R. Martin

Original Airdate: April 13, 2014

In King’s Landing, the royal wedding between King Joffrey Baratheon and Margaery Tyrell arrives, as Tyrion Lannister, in fear for her safety, forces his lover Shae from the capital in the only effective way he knows how. At the grandiose wedding feast itself, King Joffrey is on his worst behavior with his uncle Tyrion, the frequent object of his torment, but shortly after receives his comeuppance. At Dragonstone, Melisandre sacrifices three men that are tied to stakes and offered to the Lord of Light for King Stannis Baratheon. Meanwhile, Roose Bolton returns to the Dreadfort to witness what has become of Theon Greyjoy at the hands of his son Ramsay. Beyond the Wall, Bran Stark, Hodor and the Reed siblings continue their quest for the Three-Eyed Raven.

main cast

the dreadfort

In the forests surrounding the Dreadfort, Ramsay Snow hunts after a peasant girl named Tansy for sport. Hunting alongside Ramsay is his other bed-warmer named Myranda, as well as his savage pack of hounds. Accompanying them is Theon Greyjoy, who is now addressed by his new name Reek and has been freed from his restraints on the condition that he works for Ramsay as a servant. A fleeing Tansy is eventually brought down in the leg by one of Myranda’s arrows. When they catch up to the wounded peasant girl, Myranda readies her bow, however, Ramsay insists that the hounds are to be rewarded and the kill is not hers to make. A confused Tansy cries out and begs for her life, however, Ramsay asserts that her presence has become a problem due to Myranda’s jealousy, though Myranda denies it. Ramsay eventually goads the dogs into ripping Tansy to shreds, while Myranda mockingly comments that she is "not so pretty now." A silent and quivering Theon avoids looking directly at the gruesome sight.

Some time later, Lord Roose Bolton arrives at the Dreadfort, the seat of House Bolton. He is accompanied by a detachment of his army, including Locke and Roose's new wife, Walda Bolton, who represents a further union between House Bolton and House Frey after Roose assisted Walder Frey with the slaughtering of the Starks during the Red Wedding. The bastard Ramsay greets his father and his new step-mother. Roose immediately requests to see Ramsay's captive Theon Greyjoy, who is brought to Roose's chambers. Roose is disgusted and angered to learn Ramsay has tortured and flayed Theon; as Balon Greyjoy's sole surviving male heir, Theon was a valuable hostage and intended on trading Theon for Moat Cailin, currently held by House Greyjoy forces. Roose dispatches Locke with orders to find and kill Bran and Rickon Stark. Theon, who now answers to his slave name Reek, suggests that Jon Snow might either be sheltering his young brothers at Castle Black or at least may know where they have gone. Ramsay advocates killing Jon, given that the fact he has Stark blood could lead to him becoming a threat, since the Northerners will rally behind him or he will simply seek revenge. Roose gives Ramsay orders as well; to take Theon and an army to Moat Cailin and reclaim the fortress from the Greyjoys. If he succeeds, Roose will give consideration to legitimizing Ramsay as a member of House Bolton.

dragonstone

Meanwhile, on the shore of Dragonstone, Melisandre presides over a public burning ceremony, setting three people chained to stakes ablaze as an offering to the Lord of Light. One of the condemned is Queen Selyse Baratheon's own brother Axell Florent, executed for his lack of faith in the Lord's power. Watching the proceedings, Ser Davos Seaworth holds his tongue, though his disgust both for the ritual and Melisandre are plain. Melisandre is surprisingly silent throughout the proceedings; it is Selyse who takes the greatest pleasure in the ritual. Afterwards, Stannis Baratheon and Selyse eat dinner, with Melisandre as a guest at their table. The royal couple argue over their daughter, Princess Shireen Baratheon; Selyse believes the girl's disfigurement is a punishment from the Lord of Light, but Stannis angrily forbids his wife from trying to physically chastise their daughter for her perceived faults. Selyse switches tactics and suggests that Melisandre speak to Shireen. Stannis doesn't protest, but Melisandre doesn't look particularly interested in the task. Nonetheless, Melisandre does speak with Shireen, who heard the death of her uncle from her bedroom window, explaining in gentle yet matter-of-fact terms that the Faith of the Seven and its holy books are lies: Melisandre insists there are only two gods, the Lord of Light and the Great Other, constantly at war. When Shireen asks if there is any truth to the Faith's belief in seven heavens and seven hells, Melisandre replies "There is only one hell... the one we live in now".

beyond the wall

Beyond the Wall, Bran Stark’s warging into his direwolf Summer is interrupted by Meera Reed, who says that Bran had been gone for hours. Jojen Reed cautions Bran that warging so long is dangerous for other reasons. Even though it allows Bran the mobility he lost when he was injured, Bran would become trapped, forgetting his friends, his family, his home, and even himself. And if Bran forgets himself, they all lose everything. The group breaks camp and continues traveling. They eventually comes upon a weirwood tree as Bran has Hodor take him to the tree. Bran hesitantly touches the tree just under the face carved into it, knowing a vision will occur. Once he places his hand on the weirwood he instantly sees several images rushing to his mind. He sees a swarm of crows, a large group of undead wights and the fall that paralyzed him years ago, though the vision does not show the cause of his fall. He also sees the three-eyed raven taking flight in a darkened corridor and later land on a tree. Bran sees his father Eddard Stark being led to his execution at the Great Sept of Baelor as well as the shadow of a large dragon flying over King's Landing. Bran then also sees several images of a different weirwood tree located on top of a barren mountain, accompanied by a voice that tells Bran to "look for me beneath the tree... NORTH". Bran snaps out of his vision out of breath to inform the group that he knows where they have to go.

king’s landing

In King’s Landing, on the morning of King Joffrey Baratheon and Lady Margaery Tyrell’s wedding, Ser Jaime and Tyrion Lannister share a drink together. Tyrion states that he is impressed with Jaime's new hand, saying that it's much better than the old one. Tyrion then attempts to toast to himself and his siblings by raising his cup to “the dwarf, the cripple and the mother of madness.” However, as Jaime goes to raise his own cup he forgets of his new hand and knocks the cup over. This prompts Jaime to address his dilemma: He can't use a sword and he can't train because it will be humiliating. Tyrion informs he knows just the man for his discretionary requirements, which is Ser Bronn. Afterwards, as arranged by Tyrion, Jaime and the paid sellsword Bronn meet up by the sea to sword train. Jaime is worried that someone might hear them but Bronn responds that he routinely has sex with a married woman in that place and that she is a screamer; if no one heard her, no one will hear them. Jaime remarks that he hasn't wielded a sparring sword since he was nine. As they commence training, Bronn uses his usual dirty tactics and gets the better of Jaime, teaching him not only to use his offhand, but encouraging him to fight dirtier.

Later on, Tyrion finds Lord Varys on his way to a breakfast celebration as Varys divulges that Shae has been spotted and that his sister, Cersei Lannister, has been notified. Varys then says that there is nothing Tyrion can do to protect Shae any longer in fear of Tywin Lannister’s threat to hang the next whore he is seen with. At the breakfast celebration, Mace Tyrell gifts Joffrey a magnificent golden chalice with seven facets, one for each of the major houses in the Westeros and wishes him and his daughter Margaery a long and happy marriage. Cersei then spots Shae and tells Tywin that she is Tyrion's whore, and he commands for her to be sent to the Tower of the Hand before the wedding. Tyrion overhears this and looks vexed, but proceeds to approach Joffrey as Podrick Payne, Tyrion's squire, presents him with the “Lives of Four Kings,” a book detailing the reigns of four kings. Joffrey accepts the gift, but his sincerity seems questionable. A member of the Kingsguard then presents a Valyrian steel sword and Tywin tells him that it is one of two swords of its kind in the capital, and Joffrey rushes to wield it. He promptly begins to slash at Tyrion's gift despite its rarity, and then asks for suggestions on its name from guests in attendance. He settles on the name Widow's Wail.

After the celebratory breakfast, Tyrion is visited in his chambers by Shae and without wasting any time, he coldly informs her that there is a ship waiting for her bound for Pentos and that their "friendship" is at an end. Realizing that Shae will defiantly refuse to flee in the face of danger, he concludes the only way to convince her to leave King’s Landing and save herself is to brutally reject her. So Tyrion tells her, at enormous pain to himself as well as to her, that she is only a whore and he cannot love her. He brutally adds that Sansa Stark can bear his children while a whore cannot, and that their time is over. When Bronn then enters and tries to escort her away, Shae slaps him and runs out of the room. While furious and broken-hearted, Bronn chases after her to escort her to the ship and ensure her safe departure. In private, a devastated and hopeless Tyrion throws a goblet of wine across the room. When Bronn catches up with a sobbing Shae in the gardens of the Red Keep, he asks her if she really thought her relationship with Tyrion would last, adding that even the good people in King’s Landing spit lowborns like them out when they are no longer of any use. He advises Shae to adapt to her circumstances before he then escorts her to the docks.

That afternoon, King Joffrey and Queen Margaery's wedding ceremony takes place in the Great Sept of Baelor conducted by the High Septon and they are wed in front of gods and men. After the ceremony, the royals gather outside the Red Keep for a lavish wedding feast in celebration of the union of House Lannister and House Tyrell. At the end of the ceremony, Sansa flippantly comments to Tyrion that "we have a new queen.”  Tyrion encourages her to look on the bright side: at least she isn't the queen. Walking towards the feast, Lord Tywin and Lady Olenna Tyrell discuss the extravagance of their union between their grandchildren. Olenna points out the cost of war will be a larger concern with the Iron Bank of Braavos. Meanwhile, Tyrion, Bronn and Podrick Payne join the festivities outside of the Red Keep when Tyrion asks if Shae has departed from the capital. Bronn confirms that she has boarded the ship and that no one knows about it except for them and Lord Varys. Prince Oberyn Martell and Ellaria Sand then greet Tyrion upon their arrival. Along the royal banquet table, Lady Olenna speaks to Sansa and offers condolences over the Red Wedding massacre, then inviting her to visit Highgarden sometime when things settle down. During the exchange, in a grandmotherly fashion, Olenna toys with Sansa's hair and the necklace Dontos Hollard gifted her.

After Joffrey and Queen Margaery watch a group of minstrels play the House Lannister song “The Rains of Castamere” Margaery then rises to announce the leftovers of the large feast are to be given to the poorest in the city, which is applauded by the court. Cersei Lannister, playing her part through gritted teeth, informs Margaery that she is an example to them all. From a distance, Prince Oberyn then eyes Ser Loras Tyrell with an obvious flirtation to which Ser Loras intriguingly reciprocates. Loras then accidentally bumps into Ser Jaime who is standing in his spot as Kingsguard. After apologizing, Loras goads Jaime about the marital arrangement with he has with Cersei. However, Ser Jaime informs Loras that he will never marry Cersei and that she would kill him and any child conceived on their wedding night. Loras replies that neither will Jaime, a subtle barb to their not-so-secret incestuous relationship. Brienne of Tarth then greets the King and Queen with a bow, whom Joffrey mistakes as the one who assassinated Renly Baratheon, which Margaery quickly corrects. Directly after, Cersei thanks Brienne for bringing Ser Jaime back safely. While Jaime curiously witnesses the pair from afar, Brienne informs Cersei that Jaime is actually the one who saved her on multiple occasions, which irritates Cersei, who then wonders aloud if Brienne is in love with him. However, Brienne does not answer the question before leaving.

Shortly after Margaery’s announcement regarding the leftovers, Cersei instructs Pycelle to go to the kitchens and order the cooks to give the leftovers to the dogs instead of the smallfolk of the city. Pycelle is reluctant to do so, but Cersei threatens to have him killed if he does not. Cersei and Lord Tywin then meet Prince Oberyn and Ellaria as the quartet quickly get into a heated discussion when Cersei hypocritically mocks Ellaria's bastard status, despite the fact that her own children are also bastards and born out of incest no less. The discussion escalates when Oberyn alludes to Lord Tywin’s previous command to slaughter his sister Elia Martell during Robert’s Rebellion. However, the confrontation is interrupted by King Joffrey who speaks to the royal court about history, as five dwarves then ride out of a large golden lion, dressed as and representing Joffrey, Renly Baratheon, Stannis Baratheon, Robb Stark, and Balon Greyjoy, each of the five kings in the War of the Five Kings. The dwarves put on a performance, jousting, fighting and making crude sexual acts which cruelly entertains Joffrey and Cersei though is found too confronting by most of the court, including Queen Margaery who watches her king with disdain. Sansa makes little effort to hide her disgust during this satirical performance of the death of her brother Robb, as the dwarf portraying the late king parades around with a direwolf’s head. Ser Loras leaves in anger after watching the crude depiction of his deceased lover Renly riding a mount that resembles himself.

Once the performanec has finished, King Joffrey expresses his delight with the play and prepares to give the champion dwarf a purse but then mockingly suggests that Tyrion fight him as well. Tyrion cleverly counters this jape by suggesting that Joffrey should fight instead and show the same “bravery” he displayed at the Battle of the Blackwater, cautioning his nephew to be careful, however, as the champion dwarf is "clearly mad with lust" and it would be a tragedy for the king to lose his virtue hours before his wedding night. Enraged and humiliated that his uncle outwitted him in front of his wedding guests, Joffrey petulantly pours wine over Tyrion's head and orders him to serve him wine as his cupbearer. Tyrion approaches Joffrey, who then purposely drops the goblet and kicks it under the table. Sansa hands the goblet to Tyrion, and he fills it with wine and hands it back to Joffrey. The king demands that Tyrion kneel before him but Tyrion refuses. Queen Margaery interrupts the tense moment, by joyfully announcing that it is time to cut the pigeon pie. Joffrey then hands his wine goblet to Margaery, who then places it at the edge of the table near her grandmother Olenna. Joffrey draws his new Valyrian sword, cuts the pie, and several white doves fly out. During the ceremonial tradition, Sansa and Tyrion attempt to leave the feast but Joffrey instead commands Tyrion to serve him wine to wash down the pie. Tyrion hands the goblet to Joffrey and he quickly drinks all of it. Joffrey then tries to speak but begins coughing, as he then grabs his throat with a look of horror while Margaery exclaims that he is choking. Joffrey collapses face down and begins vomiting and convulsing, as Cersei and Jaime both rush in and turn Joffrey over on his back. The necklace-gifting Dontos Hollard suddenly appears behind Sansa and urges for to escape with him immediately. While Cersei and Jaime hopelessly hover over their son, Joffrey points an accusatory finger in Tyrion's direction, as Tyrion picks up the wine goblet in order to examine it, though it is not made clear if Joffrey is accusing Tyrion or merely the poisoned wine itself. A panicked Cersei then witnesses Joffrey's eyes turning red and blood running from his nose before he eventually stops convulsing and dies in his mother’s arms. In a blind rage, Cersei then orders the Kingsguard to seize Tyrion for the poisoning her son.

*Episode descriptions from GOT Wiki